Oh, fair Prince how your beauty lies
That the mere brush of a butterfly turns your head
The most fleeting of caresses turns your course,
And your constant weakness of will
Remains enforce.
Such thinking, thinking
Behind your fair brow
The flux of desire and illogic;
Setting aside your crown.
What sweet tortures you merit,
And stress upon my being
Misadventure and folly,
Deception unseemly.
But, I am beast in woman form
Not one to bow lightly
For in this tender heart resides a seed pearl
Of the rarest sort.
A gift, a treasure;
My priceless measure.
One can never guard oneself too carefully.
I will cleanse my sins in Diana’s pure water
I will be baptized in the blazing truth of the sun.
My heart and soul to guard,
My virtue to keep.
I dare’nt trust my heart and soul to thee.
Here, he put his pen down and looked at her with one eyebrow raised.
“Just the facts, ma’am.”
“I met him over the internet. He was very charming, and seemed to have a lot in common with me.”
“His name?”
“Henry Thomas...but I found out later that wasn’t his name. Nothing was as it seemed.” Here, she laughed shakily and shivered.
The officer looked up at her and the blue and red siren lights washed his face over and over as the strobe turned around and around. Red,Blue. Red, Blue. It was hypnotizing.
“Ma’am?”
She blinked and looked around. The blood, the feathers strewn everywhere. She hugged the blanket the medic gave her to her body and shivered again.
“I don’t think he was human,” she whispered.
“Ma’am please speak louder. Here!” He motioned a man in a white coat over and then whispered in his ear. The man nodded and turned back to the ambulance to get something.
Everything was in slow motion; she felt woozy and sat down hard upon the parking lot.
*
He had wanted to meet her in a darkened parking lot at the old abandoned theater. All her warning bells rang off, but he had said he was nervous around people. He was very shy. She had talked to him on the phone for hours and hours for almost three months before she agreed to meet him, and she had come armed with mace, her cell phone, and a knife. But she felt she was being foolish. She felt she knew him well. His voice was so soothing and sexy. His words seemed so full of love and truth. And she was so very lonely. Everything happened so fast...
The man in the white coat came back and handed her a small pill, and water in a Dixie cup. She took it without thinking what it was. The officer and the man whispered again, and she heard “in shock” and “bring in for observation.” She was too exhausted to care.
The officer flipped through his notebook. “Genevieve?”
She waved a hand. “Jenny. Please... everyone calls me Jenny.”
“Ms. Jenny it says that when you called 9-1-1 you reported you attacked a demon, a monster that escaped?”
She nodded. “Demon or angel. But I think it was a demon. He had horns.”
**
She had walked to the car he had described to her over the phone. It was this old sky-blue Dodge Charger. She saw a huddled shape inside and paused a safe distance away.
“Henry?” She called out, a little annoyed at how scared she sounded. She cleared her throat and called out louder: “Henry?!”
“I am here.”
And his voice! She nearly swooned. His soothing, beautiful voice was like music to her ears. That sounds so cliché but it was. It sounded so much purer and melodic than over the phone. She recognized his voice. All her worries erased. She stepped closer and saw he was deformed, as he seemed to have a large hump on his back, and he was keeping his body and face twisted away from her.
“Oh, Henry!” She breathed softly. “It’s okay,” she assured. “ I don’t care what you look like. Please let me see your face.”
“You really don’t care?” His voice rang with hope, and her heart melted.
“Oh, honey of course not. I love you. Please, let me see you.”
He turned then, and the rest was a blur. She saw horns, and her eyes widened. Horns that were huge and curling like on a bighorn sheep. She didn’t realize she was screaming until he was saying: “No,” and “Please stop!” And HE WAS STEPPING OUT OF THE CAR!
She couldn’t seem to stop screaming, and without thinking she pulled out her knife. Then she saw the wings; Huge, black wings that seemed to cover the sky. She fell to the ground and blacked out. She doesn’t remember attacking Henry, but she must have as there was blood all around; Blood and feathers, and not a scratch on her. He had left the car behind, so he must have flown away.
She looked at the sky then, and told the officer. “He must have flown away.”
A different officer came back with a wallet from the car. “The car is registered to a Billy Rodriguez, is this the..er..man you saw ma’am?”
She glanced at the I.D but knew without looking it couldn’t be him. There are no pictures of him. She shook her head. She looked at each of them then. “I know you think I am crazy, but look at these feathers! Look at the blood!”
Officer number two who had gone to his patrol car to speak to dispatch and who was the officer that checked the car for I.D, now ran excitedly from his patrol car to officer number one. He whispered in his ear, and officer number one pulled out the handcuffs. “Ms. Jenny I’m afraid I’m going to have to bring you down to the station, Billy Rodriguez has been found dead.”
Jenny shook her head. “But of course he has. Darkness cometh and darkness depart.”
“What was that?”
“Something my Grandmother used to say: ‘Darkness cometh and darkness depart.’ She danced with demons too.”
“What a sweet little boy,” I said to the tow headed child with big blue eyes. I was visiting my friend Shannon for the first time in years, and was immediately drawn to her son Caleb. He reached out his little arms and I scooped him up.
“How old is he?” I asked hugging him close.
“Two...no three. He’s just turned three…Ha ha.Things have been hectic around here. I’m lucky I can remember to eat!”
“Oh, he’s beautiful!”
Suddenly the child pushed himself up in my arms and buried his face in my hair. He rubbed his mouth back and forth quickly on the top of my head.
“Uh…What’s he doing?” I asked, a bit nervously.
Oh, he’s feeling your ‘happy.’ That is what he calls it. He does that with just about everyone. Kinda weird huh?
“No…it’s sweet!” Very weird. “Glad I washed my hair! “
Caleb stopped rubbing his face in my hair and looked at me. His look was very solemn, and he spoke clearly.
“Your happy is broken.”
The effect his words had on me was unexpected. I immediately put him down and walked away, arms across my chest.
“Lynette? You okay?”
“He said my happy was broken.” And then I started to cry.
Oh, Hon, what’s wrong? He’s three…what does he know?
It’s true though.” I said and took a deep breath. “Something is wrong with me. I feel broken somehow. Lost. Lonely. I feel displaced here. I can’t seem to feel anything anymore, or let anyone in.”
“Well, hon your divorce…it’s only been a year, or not even?”
“It will be a year in February. I have not heard his voice or seen his face in over a year. I don’t know how to let go. I don’t know how to get past the pain and start healing.” I buried my face in my hands and cried.
“I feel…” I said when I could catch my breath again. “I feel there is this pain in my heart, this dark ache that will never heal. Sometimes I feel I am just waiting to die.” I laughed a little shakily. ”Perhaps this wasn’t the best time for a visit.”
“No, No...” my friend was holding me I realized, and that I had wet her blouse with my tears. “We love you. We are glad you came. You can come to us for anything.”
‘Us,’ referred to her and her husband Chris. We had all been friends since college, some 15 years past. Chris was at work, and Shannon stayed home and took care of Caleb. Caleb was now tugging at his mother’s jeans. Shannon bent down, “What honey?” Caleb waved her closer whispering. Shannon sighed and leaned closer, and Caleb cupped his little hand to her ear and whispered-all the while looking at me. I smiled at him and dried my tears. I walked to the window, and looked out. The apartment was on the second floor above a daycare. The window overlooked the playground and I could see the children playing.I could hear their laughter. If only I could feel it!
I then felt a gentle pull on my hand and looked down.It was Caleb. He beamed up at me, his pale blue eyes shining.
“He wants you to go outside with him. To play.” Shannon smiled apologetically, and shrugged.A silent: It’s up to you. “He said something about you needing to be ‘painted with laughter.’ “
I smiled. Painted with laughter? I wonder if he knows I am an artist? “That sounds like exactly what I need! Lead the way Caleb!”
Once outside, Caleb led me to the center of the playing children. Curiously, the children paid neither of us any mind. Perhaps they were used to Caleb and his strange ways.
The children played around us, running and laughing, and I wished I had my camera. The playground was lit in full sun, and the children were all dressed how we should all be dressed-in fun colors and prints and designs. Caleb tilted his head back and closed his eyes. I did the same.
The sun shown through my lids, so I saw downy pink. I heard the children laughing and screaming in delight over their games. I felt the warmth of the sun, and then I felt it. Like butterfly kisses, there were these tiny bursts of energy along my skin causing goose-flesh to break out. I felt like I was being tickled.
I felt warmth, and joy and love surrounding me.I heard Caleb start to giggle then laugh, and I felt the overwhelming urge to do the same. We held hands and laughed together. The laughter painted me inside and out, and I realized there is so much beauty and joy in the world. It was time to let the darkness go.
Mildred didn’t want to get out of bed. The morning was freezing, and she could see frost on her windows. The weak morning light filtered in with a depressing blue glow she shut her eyes tightly against. She counted the months and days in her head. It was one year, one month and 16 days since her husband had passed away. Tears welled in her eyes. Oh, Evan. I miss you so. She opened her eyes a slit, and glanced at his side of the bed. Nope, still gone. She only sees him in dreams now, and she contemplates trying this. But no. She flings back the covers suddenly, violently-but then she lies back down.
No, No, it’s time to get up. I must see the sunrise.
It became a habit for her, maybe an obsession. She had to see the sunrise each morning. The golden sun rising and lighting the sky from deep purple, to pinks, oranges, gold and pale blue. This was one thing she could count on, and she didn’t want to miss it. She sat up slowly and put on the green fuzzy slippers Evan had bought her years ago. The slippers were fading, and the holes had been stitched with care by her. She knew she would have to let them go soon, but not today. She put on her pink robe, the one she had found at the Salvation Army for 50 cents that was too short in the sleeves. But she loved it. It was perfect for her-the too short sleeves- as she often accidentally dipped her sleeves in her tea or soup or dishwater. She had her morning tea with honey and lemon and thought of her Grandmother and all the people that have passed from her life. She couldn’t wait to see them again.
The sky was lightening, so she hurriedly put on her walking shoes and coat and set out. The morning was chilly, but not as cold as she thought. She blew her breath and could just see it. It was tolerable. She glanced to the East; the sun was barely peaking over the rooftops in the distance. She could hear the morning traffic as she began to walk the familiar route along her neighborhood. Stanly the neighbor’s terrier eagerly accompanied her for a few houses down, then turned and trotted back glancing at her once and giving her a huff. He sensed her mood she imagined, plus she forgot his treat. Silly little dog.
Everyone’s city ordained garbage can was out on the curb with the metal bar facing the street for easier access for the robotic arm on the new expensive garbage trucks her city was now using. She tried to make a mental note to remember to set her garbage out when she got back, but let the thought fade. Now that she was alone, it seemed to take forever for her to fill that giant trash can the city gave to each household. On trash days, she would sometimes find furniture, clothes or toys laid out on top for those that drive by looking for free goodies. She sometimes felt sad for these unwanted objects being thrown away. There is so much waste in the world.
The clouds were turning pink now with golden-orange lining and she sighed. She felt at peace. The sky was so beautiful she stared up at it for several steps and almost tripped. She looked down and saw a doll in her path. She picked it up. Her immediate reaction was: Wow, she’s beautiful!
The doll was made of porcelain, and had dark brown ringlets framing her face. Her eyes seemed so lifelike, they shined. Must be glass, she thought. She looked to the nearest house. It was the Ramirez’s pink stucco house nearby, and she walked up the walkway and rang the door. Doris Ramirez answered the door and gave Mildred a smile, but then saw the doll. Her eyes widened and she made a shooing gesture with her hands. Mildred held the doll up, and began,” I found this on the sidewalk...” but Doris had started to close the door speaking in Spanish. Mildred knew very little Spanish but she understood: “No! No! Tírelo! Tírelo!” Throw it out!
It was obvious to Mildred Mrs. Ramirez didn’t want the doll. In fact, Mrs. Ramirez seemed terrified of the doll. Mildred thought she had even heard her say: El Diablo. The Devil? Mildred looked down at the precious doll and decided to take her home.
Once back in her kitchen, she set the doll down at the table and gave her a good look. The doll was an antique but in immaculate condition. Not a hair misplaced or a scratch on her fine pinkish skin. The doll was in perfect condition even though it had been in the elements who knew how long, and it was curious to find her warm-not cold at all. Mildred made a cup of tea and mused about the doll. All her nieces had grown up, and she herself only had a son that was grown and moved away. No grandchildren yet. She had always wanted a daughter, had even dreamed of her little face for so many years; A face that closely resembled the doll’s. She decided then and there to keep the doll for herself, and thought of a name for her. Bonnie? Pearl? Rose? Rose. Rose fit perfectly as the doll had rosy cheeks and her little taffeta and lace dress was a pinkish–rose hue with white lace fringe. She is like the morning sunrise! Mildred thought. The doll’s mouth was partly opened as if she might speak at any moment.
“What dear? Oh yes! What fun we will have together!”
Mildred laughed then dropped her tea cup. The shattering of the cup jarred her back to reality.
