The Doll

Mildred didn’t want to get out of bed. The morning was freezing, and she could see frost on her windows. The weak morning light filtered in with a depressing blue glow she shut her eyes tightly against. She counted the months and days in her head. It was one year, one month and 16 days since her husband had passed away. Tears welled in her eyes. Oh, Evan. I miss you so. She opened her eyes a slit, and glanced at his side of the bed. Nope, still gone. She only sees him in dreams now, and she contemplates trying this. But no. She flings back the covers suddenly, violently-but then she lies back down.

No, No, it’s time to get up. I must see the sunrise.

It became a habit for her, maybe an obsession. She had to see the sunrise each morning. The golden sun rising and lighting the sky from deep purple, to pinks, oranges, gold and pale blue. This was one thing she could count on, and she didn’t want to miss it. She sat up slowly and put on the green fuzzy slippers Evan had bought her years ago. The slippers were fading, and the holes had been stitched with care by her. She knew she would have to let them go soon, but not today. She put on her pink robe, the one she had found at the Salvation Army for 50 cents that was too short in the sleeves. But she loved it. It was perfect for her-the too short sleeves- as she often accidentally dipped her sleeves in her tea or soup or dishwater. She had her morning tea with honey and lemon and thought of her Grandmother and all the people that have passed from her life. She couldn’t wait to see them again.

The sky was lightening, so she hurriedly put on her walking shoes and coat and set out. The morning was chilly, but not as cold as she thought. She blew her breath and could just see it. It was tolerable. She glanced to the East; the sun was barely peaking over the rooftops in the distance. She could hear the morning traffic as she began to walk the familiar route along her neighborhood. Stanly the neighbor’s terrier eagerly accompanied her for a few houses down, then turned and trotted back glancing at her once and giving her a huff. He sensed her mood she imagined, plus she forgot his treat. Silly little dog.

Everyone’s city ordained garbage can was out on the curb with the metal bar facing the street for easier access for the robotic arm on the new expensive garbage trucks her city was now using. She tried to make a mental note to remember to set her garbage out when she got back, but let the thought fade. Now that she was alone, it seemed to take forever for her to fill that giant trash can the city gave to each household. On trash days, she would sometimes find furniture, clothes or toys laid out on top for those that drive by looking for free goodies. She sometimes felt sad for these unwanted objects being thrown away. There is so much waste in the world.

The clouds were turning pink now with golden-orange lining and she sighed. She felt at peace. The sky was so beautiful she stared up at it for several steps and almost tripped. She looked down and saw a doll in her path. She picked it up. Her immediate reaction was:
Wow, she’s beautiful!

The doll was made of porcelain, and had dark brown ringlets framing her face. Her eyes seemed so lifelike, they shined. Must be glass, she thought. She looked to the nearest house. It was the Ramirez’s pink stucco house nearby, and she walked up the walkway and rang the door. Doris Ramirez answered the door and gave Mildred a smile, but then saw the doll. Her eyes widened and she made a shooing gesture with her hands. Mildred held the doll up, and began,” I found this on the sidewalk...” but Doris had started to close the door speaking in Spanish. Mildred knew very little Spanish but she understood: “No! No! Tírelo! Tírelo!” Throw it out!

It was obvious to Mildred Mrs. Ramirez didn’t want the doll. In fact, Mrs. Ramirez seemed terrified of the doll. Mildred thought she had even heard her say: El Diablo. The Devil? Mildred looked down at the precious doll and decided to take her home.

Once back in her kitchen, she set the doll down at the table and gave her a good look. The doll was an antique but in immaculate condition. Not a hair misplaced or a scratch on her fine pinkish skin. The doll was in perfect condition even though it had been in the elements who knew how long, and it was curious to find her warm-not cold at all. Mildred made a cup of tea and mused about the doll. All her nieces had grown up, and she herself only had a son that was grown and moved away. No grandchildren yet. She had always wanted a daughter, had even dreamed of her little face for so many years; A face that closely resembled the doll’s. She decided then and there to keep the doll for herself, and thought of a name for her. Bonnie? Pearl? Rose? Rose. Rose fit perfectly as the doll had rosy cheeks and her little taffeta and lace dress was a pinkish–rose hue with white lace fringe. She is like the morning sunrise! Mildred thought. The doll’s mouth was partly opened as if she might speak at any moment.

“What dear? Oh yes! What fun we will have together!”

Mildred laughed then dropped her tea cup. The shattering of the cup jarred her back to reality.